Pornography is a pervasive issue impacting people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds. More and more people find themselves feeling stuck, trapped, and overwhelmed by an addiction or struggle with pornography. That’s because pornography poses MAJOR problems are far reaching and nearly inescapable.
And for many people, their struggle with or addiction to pornography feels insurmountable. But we’re here to tell you it doesn’t have to be this way! So whether you’re here wondering how to stop watching porn for yourself or how to help someone you care about, we’re glad you’re here! You’re about to find some help! We’ll begin by outlining some of the major problems associated with pornography and then we’ll outline the five steps you can take to find Healing, Freedom, and Victory.
Problem #1: Pornography Affects Everyone
In today’s world, no one can hide from porn’s reach and nobody is immune to porn’s effects and its consequences. Thanks to the ability to access the internet right from the power of our hands, it’s easier than ever for anyone and everyone to be directly connected to, or impacted by, pornography. And the data bears this out…
- The average age reported for first viewing porn is 12. 15% of people surveyed reported seeing porn for the first time before the age of 10.
- By the time they graduate high school, 93% of boys and 62% of girls will have been exposed to, and viewed, pornography.
- 69% of men and 40% of women self-reported looking at pornography in the past 12 months.
As we can see, the scope and breadth of pornography’s reach and its impact is far and wide. But it doesn’t stop there…
Problem #2: Pornography Damages Relationships
The reality is there is no way someone can consume or use pornography without paying the price and suffering the consequences relationally. It has been studied and proven, over and over, that pornography use has an overwhelmingly negative effect on the health and vitality of what are supposed to be meaningful and loving relationships.
Once again, the statistics bear this out…
- A 2020 study found that frequent use of pornography leads to higher levels of stress, depression, and anxiety. The researchers stated, “Our analysis indicates a significant relationship between mental health and pornography use.”
- A study from August 2022 reported porn distorts sexual norms and “promotes sexual objectification by depicting people as bodies that are used primarily for sexual gratification.”
- A 2016 study by the American Sociological Association found that divorce rates double when pornography is used by men and it triples when it’s used by women.
This all leads to next problem…
Problem #3: Pornography Cannot Be Overcome
Sadly, this is what a lot of people believe.
Most people don’t want to be addicted to porn. Most people don’t want to struggle or feel trapped. But no matter how hard they try, they just can’t seem to get past it. They do “good” for a little while, only to trip up, or relapse, and spiral back into that dark world. So what are they to do?
Thankfully, the Scriptures provide us with principles that form a straightforward process you can follow and leverage to overcome pornography in your life.
5 STEPS TO OVERCOME AN ADDICTION TO PORNOGRAPHY
Step 1: Identify the Root Issue
Underneath every sort of addiction or struggle is some form of root issue or cause. And porn addiction is no different. It doesn’t arise in a vacuum – there are underlying root issues driving the behavior. In other words, there is a reason you are resorting to porn and there is something you are hoping to find there to deal with what you are experiencing or feeling elsewhere.
Too many people try treating just the outward symptom through content blockers, internet filters, etc. Those things are good, helpful, and even necessary at times, but if that’s the extent of the work you do it becomes the equivalent of putting a band-aid on cancer.
In Jeremiah 1:10, God speaks to the prophet and He says, “Today I appoint you to stand up against nations and kingdoms. Some you must uproot and tear down, destroy and overthrow. Others you must build up and plant.”
Similarly, there are things in your life that God is calling you to identify and uproot. Your root cause or issue could be fear, pride, comfort, approval, control, stress or something else. But you need to find it, expose it, and root it out.
Step 2: Flee Temptation
One of the mistakes many people make repeatedly in their struggle with pornography is that they keep trying to fight against it. Interestingly, God doesn’t tell us to fight sexual immorality, but to flee from it. In fact, the Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality…”
So don’t try to white-knuckle your way through temptation, because God promises to show you a way out. Just a little bit later, Paul would continue writing in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.“
So when you are tempted, begin looking for the “exit signs” God has provided and run from tempting situations and environments rather than trying to resist in your own strength.
Step 3: Take Your Thoughts Captive
With around 60,000 thoughts per day, it’s impossible to capture them all. But according to 2 Corinthians 10:5, we’re called to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” So what do you do with these two competing realities?
Well, simply put you focus on taking as many thoughts captive as you possibly can. When sinful urges, temptations, or improper thoughts arise, seize them and submit them to Christ’s Lordship right away before they can take root.
Step 4: Redirect Your Thoughts
Taking thoughts captive is an important step, but on its own it’s insufficient. You have to “set your mind on things above” as the Apostle Paul wrote in Colossians 3:2 and you have to renew your mind as he wrote in Romans 12:2.
But for Paul, this wasn’t just hypothetical or motivational speech. This was a reality and he actually provided guidance on what you should redirect your thoughts toward. In Philippians 4:8, he wrote, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
If you want to find victory in this area, you have to reprogram your brain to think different thoughts, not the same ones.
Step 5: Confess Sin and Repeat the Process
Although last, this 5th and final step is equally vital. Western Christians are terrible at owning up to our sins through authentic confession and contrition. But the Bible is filled with instructions to continually confess (see James 5:16; 1 John 1:9; Matt. 3:6; Acts 19:18). Maybe the best example of all was King David’s confession in Psalm 51 following his own sexual sin…
“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me—now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.”
Without confession, there can be no liberation. The more we hide it, the more defeated and depleted we become. Through daily confession before God and a trusted community of others, you can find release. This isn’t always easy, but you must always remember:
You are only as strong as you are honest.
Closing
Experiencing true healing, freedom and victory over pornography is a journey, not an event. It requires humbly embracing these steps as an ongoing process. But God promises to be faithful through it all.
God wants to bring wholeness into your life in this area. He wants to loose the shackles of shame and addiction. And He’s calling you to walk in total victory through the power of His Spirit.
He is inviting YOU to experience Healing. To find Freedom. And to walk in Victory.
Will you accept His invitation today?
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